If Ol' Jesus Was Elitist

If Ol' Jesus Was Elitist

© 2021 Jeff Jackson

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He wouldn’t see 

the need to feed us

Wouldn’t matter how he’d treat us

When we call he wouldn’t heed us

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He’d be born with all convenience

Penthouse room 

would be the cleanest

Might rename him Dionysus

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He’d be greeted by the dealers

Gifts of stock would be ingenious 

Apple, Amazon, & Adidas

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist 

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He’d make billionaires 

his preachers

Right hand man 

would be Jeff Bezos

Kim Khardashian would be 

high priestess

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He’d get the rich young man 

to teach us

How to hoard our stuff 

to deceive us

Make us pay him for his best ideas

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

Surround himself with all extremists

His whole sale staff 

would be the meanest

While their talk 

would sound the sweetest

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist 

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He’d monetize 

the cure for diseases

He’d only heal the hottest divas

Of their STDs or measles

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He’d call the cops on all the theists

He’d build barriers between us

Make us think 

we just don’t need us

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

Break our churches into tiny pieces

Change the locks and hide the keys-es

Wait ‘til hell or heaven freezes

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

We’d turn wafers into Cheez-its

Communion wine into margaritas

Worship God in Chuck-E-Cheese’s

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

Into town he’d drive his Prius

He’d pretend he wouldn’t see us

While making promises to free us

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist

He wouldn’t rise up like a phoenix

He’d stand aside 

and watch them beat us and

Watch us hang out in the breezes

If Ol’ Jesus was elitist 

If you say you follow Jesus

But get offended by his teachings

Maybe check your Bible readings

See which folks 

you been mistreating

‘Cause Ol’ Jesus…ain’t elitist 

So Ol’ Jesus ain’t elitist

He’s holding out 

his hands to feed us

With love and grace 

he’ll always treat us

When we call he’ll always heed us

‘Cause Ol’ Jesus ain’t elitist