Don't Laugh at a Funeral

Don't Laugh at a Funeral

Daddy was an undertaker

If your granny died,

he’d surely take her

Drain her blood

And tidy up her hair

Roll her feet-first

in the church house

Congregation’s silent

as a church mouse

Organ plays

And preacher offers prayer

Daddy made me volunteer

Sop up every fallen tear

Wear a suit

And vacuum all the pews

I stood there at the casket head

Watching mourners

watch the dead

Some would faint while

Others stared at their shoes

Something ‘bout that

serious moment

I confess,

please give me atonement

Made me snort

And chuckle deep inside

People gasped and

clicked their tongues

Nothing ‘bout this funeral suggested fun

But I couldn’t stop,

Kept laughing ‘til I cried.

Don’t ever laugh

At an awkward time

At someone’s grave

Think of something bad

Like an awful crime

Try to behave

Imagine something gross

Like your aunt’s false teeth

In a glass of Coke

(Like an earthworm pie,

that’ll make you choke)

(An infected boil

that you have to soak)

Just don’t...

Laugh at a funeral.

Daddy had an eagle eye

When I laughed

he gave the evil eye

But somehow

That just made me all the more

Stifled laughter never rests

Believe me, I tried my best

Giggled as I wheeled her out the door

At the gravesite, we let doves fly

The soul of your granny

it signified

Birds would pivot back

from north to south

As the family all looked up high

To watch the birds up in the sky

A dove flew over

Pooped in someone’s mouth.